So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
