i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
