i need an iv and a liver transplant
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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