i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
