well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
