Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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