this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
