your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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