Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i think im in europe. pls send help
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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