He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
