I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
