Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
