oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
bring money and cleavage
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
