hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What a dumb baby whore.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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