I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
