One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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