My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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