I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
