Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
