It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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