i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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