Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
