butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
