idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
no you cant smoke seaweed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
