Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
