We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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