they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
