It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
