i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
