I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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