So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
