we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
