I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We have started to decorate penises.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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