I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
