as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
