So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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