my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
send nudes
from the living room?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
