Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
