He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am available for nakedness
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
