Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This is the high leading the old right now
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
