I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
