last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
