shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just google imaged poop.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
