....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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