You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
please come you make the beer taste better
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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