what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
