You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
