Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh god it's open bar.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
