I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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