I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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