You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
as a side note pls kill me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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