i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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