It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
