Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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